How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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