xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
