Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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