I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
