wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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