One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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