in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
