I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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