Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
