wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It's official drugs can't kill me
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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