When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
