i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i came on her dog
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
