I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
