My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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