Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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