did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
