I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
