I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i barfeds in our rink
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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