I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
His nipple licking is glorious
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