Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
