belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
