Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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