There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Is it because I queefed?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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