i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
