i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
