I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I came so hard my ears popped.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
