belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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