I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
