Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
