Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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