Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
