C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
