an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
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