Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
