When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
