I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize