just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
