So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
