that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize