dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Nobody cheats on THIS.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
