so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Green mimosas i think yes
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I still have a little drunk in my system
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
