she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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