I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize
