ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
