I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
