I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
even my farts smell like vagina
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
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