Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
