He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
