The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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