This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
40s are totally the cure
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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