I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
