ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize