i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
