she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
