Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
