So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
