tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
