Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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