Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
