i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
