You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
