that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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