Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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